Boredom and Immobility Mix Badly
by Asidian
Summary: Caught in rain too heavy for Hakuryu to travel in, the Saiyuki boys find a way to pass the time: Truth or Dare. Warnings: language, shonen ai implications, Gojyo being his usual hentai self.


Author's Notes: I wrote this on an impulse. And all in one sitting, which is very odd for me. But, hey, it was -fun-! So, none of the characters belong to me, and without further ado... Here you go!

And, uhm… Comments are ever so much appreciated. -shy smile-

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Boredom and Immobility Mix Badly

* * *

Goku's voice, louder than usual, rang clearly through the forest even over the pounding of the rain. And though it had the pleading tone usually associated with meat buns and fried noodles, mentions of food were noticeably absent.

"No _way_ I'm going first!" In the back of the jeep, the boy folded his arms and pouted. "Sanzo'll make me not eat for a week!"

"Now, now," Hakkai soothed, smile a bit strained. "It can't be permanently damaging, ne? That was one of the conditions."

"Stupid monkey," Gojyo chided, leaning in. "You're just giving him ideas... And besides, you being first means you get to ask first, not answer."

Turning an irritable glare toward the back, Sanzo fingered his gun. "Which doesn't matter in any case, because we aren't playing."

"Oh, loosen up!" the water demon leaned forward to rest his elbows on the seat. "It's not like we're doing anything else, or like Hakuryu can go anywhere in all this rain." Waving a careless hand, he gestured to the scene surrounding them- the torrents that poured down around them, the branches of the tree that were fortunately keeping out most of the wet, the mud-logged road...

Goku broke in again, having paid not even the slightest attention to the last several comments. "Kay! I'm asking Sanzo!"

Silence from the front seat. Quite a bit of it.

"Sanzooo! We can't play if you don't pick!"

"Exactly." The monk refused to budge, his un-smile looking decidedly pleased with itself.

"Sanzo! Na, Sanzo! No fair! I'm going first, and I pick you!"

"He's right, you know," Gojyo's voice drawled from the back. "We can't do anything if you don't pick, oh exalted Sanzo-sama."

The violet eyes held a decidedly threatening glint as the monk turned his gaze to face his companions. "Oh?"

"Sanzooo, why won't you-- OW, that _hurts_!" Goku broke off abruptly, rubbing his head where a fan had recently connected with it.

"Absolutely not."

More silence.

Then, in a whisper, inaudible to those in the back seat over the roar of the rain, Hakkai's voice: "It might take your mind off of... other things."

Sanzo's reply was equally as soft. "You're the one that hates the rain."

"Aa. That's true."

The rain fell, Goku nursed his injured head, and no one spoke.

"Fine. If I have to regret this, I _will_ kill you all." Turning partially in his chair, Sanzo fixed the boy with his gaze. "Dare."

"HooRAY!" Goku crowed, nearly leaping from the jeep in his excitement. He paused a moment, frowning in an overly-exaggerated show of thought. "Dare, dare... Let's see... Oh, I've got one! Buy me as much food as I want for a whole day!" His grin was frightening in its proportions.

"They were supposed to -not- be permanently damaging, idiot. To credit accounts, or otherwise," Gojyo commented, reclining back in the seat.

For a moment, Sanzo looked ready to put a bullet hole through Goku's head. And then possibly Gojyo's. And Hakkai's, just for good measure, and for his being there. But then the moment of potential gunshot wounds had passed, and the monk regained his calm. "Fine. Starting now."

Gojyo cackled.

"But it's gonna be dark soon!" the monkey king wailed. Further realization dawned. "And we're caught in the _rain_! Sanzooo, no fair!"

"Gojyo."

"Huh?" the water demon was startled abruptly from his laughter.

"I'm picking you." The blonde man's eyes held a malicious glint that Gojyo didn't like even a little.

Suddenly wondering whether he was about to get payback for suggesting this game, the redhead faltered. "Well," he waved his hand airily, playing off his mistrust, "Might as well go with a little variety. How 'bout a truth?"

After all, Sanzo was a monk. Not a _good_ monk, but a monk. So, nothing dirty. Right? And if it wasn't anything about sex, it couldn't be _that_ bad...

"How much did you cheat me out of at cards?"

The water demon suddenly felt sick.

It was Goku's turn to burst into laughter. "You're gonna get it now, pervy kappa!"

"Now, now, Goku," a calm voice chided gently. "I'm sure Hakuryu doesn't appreciate you jumping up and down like that."

Gojyo's reply was nearly lost in the rain; his voice was strangled, impending death looming.

"I see." Sanzo's words were icy, and brief, and the water demon had oh-so-strong an impression that this wouldn't be the last he heard of it.

Grimacing quietly, the half-breed cast about for a likely victim, gaze landing on the only one that had so far escaped notice. He leaned forward onto the seat back again, grinning crookedly. "Guess who, Hakkai."

The other man smiled nervously in response, brows knitting together. "I suppose that would be me, ne?"

"Mm-hm."

Green eyes regarded the water demon closely. For all his bad habits, Hakkai trusted him. He would leave alone the things best left unstirred, that much was certain. And knowing Gojyo, a dare wasn't something worth risking...

"Truth."

"Fair enough," came the response, and the redhead pulled himself in closer to drop a lazy wink. "So long's you _tell_ the truth." He paused a moment, smirk widening. "I just wanna hear it from your mouth- you haven't found a chick yet cause you've got your eye on me, right?"

Stunned silence.

Then: "Pervy _kappa_! Hakkai isn't a lech like you!"

"Hey, it's a question- let him answer! OW! Dumbass _ape_!"

"It's a _stupid_ question, like the person who asked it--"

"_Who's_ the stupid one here, you--"

"I'll kill you _both_!"

"OW!" The backseat grew collectively quieter as the inhabitants rubbed their heads.

"It's Hakkai's turn. Both of you, shut your fucking mouths."

"Uhm..." In the front seat, Hakkai sweatdropped. "Thank you, I think..." And when he called the next person without answering, either no one noticed, or they had the good grace not to mention it. "How about... How about you, Sanzo?"

A pair of deadly violet eyes turned to meet him. "Dare."

"He's just -asking- for it," Gojyo commented, leaning comfortably back in his seat.

"Don't talk to me, you perverted kappa." Safely on the other side of the jeep, Goku stuck his tongue out. "Bii!"

"Ah, perfect!" Hakkai's smile widened. "I'd been meaning to ask this anyway! Do you think you could make sure your cigarettes get out the window? If they're not all the way out, they burn Hakuryu."

"Kyuu!" the jeep agreed from under them.

The water demon groaned from behind. "He'd have agreed to that anyway! You're supposed to make him do something he doesn't _want_ to do!"

"Is he really?" Sanzo asked calmly from the front seat, eying the redhead with a look that made him feel decidedly uncomfortable. "If that's the case... Gojyo."

"What! You picked me last time!"

Goku crowed happily from beside the affronted demon. "It's not against the rules or anything! C'mon, Gojyo- you have to pick!"

"How the hell would you know what the rules are, monkey boy?"

Unfortunately, however, the monkey boy was right. And Gojyo knew it.

Biting down any further retorts, the half-breed considered carefully. His last truth had left him open for _months_ of grief, and he hadn't even seen it coming. How much worse could a dare be, really?

"Alright, Sanzo-sama- do you worst. Dare."

The tiniest hint of a smirk tugging at Sanzo's lips let the water demon know his mistake before the dare even came. And oh, was it a mistake of disastrous proportions.

"No more insulting Goku, for the rest of the day."

"_What_!" demanded Gojyo, his voice strained.

The monk settled himself, violet eyes smug. "You heard me. Consider it noise control."

"Good one, Sanzo!" the boy in question cheered. "Teach that pervert of a kappa not to--"

"Goku," the water demon ground out, teeth clenched. "Guess who's next?"

"My, my..." Hakkai murmured, laughing nervously. "This is getting a bit vindictive, isn't it?"

"Dare!" monkey king retorted, sticking his tongue out. "Let's see you--"

"Shut up!" Gojyo cut him off before he'd finished his taunt. "Don't talk at _all_ except for your turn! That's my dare!"

The boy stared, stricken, golden eyes huge. "He can't do that!" came the protest. "He can't _do _that! Can he?"

Sanzo turned amused eyes to the crestfallen ape. "I think he just did."

"Hurry up with your turn, you stupid--"

A fan to the head stopped him mid-sentence. "Ow! What was that for!"

"No insults." Sanzo fixed the water demon with a firm glare, ignoring the scowl he got in return. "I meant it."

Meanwhile, Goku sulked. "Fine." He thought a moment, considering his options: at least Hakkai wouldn't go looking to cripple him for revenge, or starve him, or make him give up his chances at fighting that stupid kappa...

"Hakkai!"

"Eh?" The older man blinked, his one visible eye wide, smile faltering but not leaving his face. "Oh... Uhm... Dare!"

"Hooray!" For a moment, the boy's face brightened incredibly. "Feed me!"

Hakkai's smile grew nervous as he scratched his head, sweatdropping. "... now?"

"We haven't eaten since lunch!" came the enthusiastic reply.

Predictably, Gojyo was ready with a retort. "It was less than two _hours_ ago, moron-- OW!"

Sanzo quietly put the fan away.

Turning away from his companions, Hakkai moved to rummage through one of the packs under the front seat. After a moment's searching, he found what he'd been looking for, and pulled it from the rest of the rations, handing it out to the delighted boy in the back seat.

Needless to say, the meat bun didn't last for more than two seconds.

"My turn again, ne? Well, let's see... Gojyo!"

"Eh?" Cocking his head, the water demon turned curious eyes to Hakkai's face. "Go for it- dare."

"Mou," the other man commented, green eyes clouding momentarily. "I didn't think of anything for- ah, never mind! I have something!" And the smile returned full force.

"Alright, let's have it," Gojyo invited.

There was a slight pause as the black-haired man thought of how to phase his dare. And then: "Wear your hair in pigtails until we leave the next town, please!"

"What?" chorused the entire jeep, the supposedly-silent Goku included (he received a hearty whap with the fan for his slip shortly thereafter).

"You said that they were supposed to be things people didn't want to do, ne?" Hakkai's smile was all innocence. Real or feigned, Gojyo wasn't sure.

There was a grumbling pause, during which the water demon reluctantly pulled his hair into ties on either side of his head... much to the very obvious delight of the monkey boy that lay on the back seat, gasping for breath between laughs.

"Fine. Good. Pigtails." Shooting a withering look at Hakkai, Gojyo attempted to gather what was left of his dignity. "Sanzo. Your turn."

The smirk on the monk's face was unmistakable as he answered. "Truth. I've learned my lesson from watching you fail yours."

Gojyo's scowl was dark, red eyes promising revenge. "You wanted to be a monk cause you needed a reason for never getting laid, huh?"

"Oh, look!" Hakkai called cheerfully, over the sound of a gun being loaded. "The rain's stopped!"

"Kyuu!" Hakuryu agreed, engine purring obediently to life.

"No," Sanzo managed to grate out. "I did -not-."

"It's supposed to be -truth-, Sanzo-sama," the water demon drawled with a wink.

Carefully, Hakkai pulled Hakuryu back onto the muddy road. "If it stays clear, we'll make the next town by nightfall," he offered, smiling.

The sound of Goku's voice drifted back through the forest where they'd waited out the rain, drowning out whatever else was being said.

"Na, Sanzo? Na? Can I talk yet? Hey, Sanz- OW!"

owari--


End file.
